What should I look for when I visit my parents over the holidays?
Short answer: Look for spoiled or missing food, unopened mail and bills, missed medicines, a messier house than usual, weight loss, new bruises or dents in the car, and memory problems beyond ordinary forgetfulness. Ask how they are managing, and listen before suggesting anything.
A holiday visit is often the first time in months that an adult child sees daily life up close. Things worth noticing:
- Spoiled, missing or very little food; weight loss.
- Unopened mail, unpaid bills, or new calls from strangers about money.
- Medicines missed or doubled up.
- A house that is messier, colder or darker than usual; stairs that have become hard.
- New bruises, or dents and scrapes on the car.
- Repeating questions, getting lost on familiar roads, or confusion beyond ordinary forgetfulness.
None of these means a crisis on its own. Ask how they are managing and listen before you suggest anything. Our guide for adult children covers how to start the conversation, and A dementia diagnosis: the first 30 days covers what to do if memory is the worry.
If you want help after the visit, one call to Elder Services of Cape Cod & the Islands, 800-244-4630, is a good first step.
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